a gift
by ArcherHana
Summary: Ariana has a gift for one of her brothers...


The hands which supported my head really began to tire me, and so did the back of my neck. No surprise, though: I had been ogling the grass in front of me for a very long while now. Along the greenness, patches of dark brown had become visible.

My fingers still had the remnants of these colours, my chin likely too. I scratched said skin, stared in front of me and almost fell to my back when I saw a _huge _goat staring straight in my eyes.

I must had yelped, or screamed, because I soon heard _his _voice exclaiming my name. I should had glanced to the left, but somehow, I was very terrified of him. This piercing glare made me very uncomfortable, but goats had never scared me before...

A shadow fell over the grey, angelic, goated face.

"Ariana?"

The goat glanced to the owner of the hand resting on his back. The frozen feeling left me and made it possible to glance up at his distressed face.

"Is everything okay?" He sounded distracted. He tried to steer the strayed one back to the direction of the main herd.

_No. _

"Yeah."

"You sure?" He took two steps closer. I glanced down at his dirtied pants and moulded an affirmative sound. My hands itched again to feel something between each finger.

"Ariana..." He squatted down, so his face demanded my attention again. His eyes filled with undisguised anxiety. I wanted to tell him – I really, _really _did – but I knew this would only bring more trouble, more uncomfortable silence, more eyes that would purposefully look at anything but the other pair.

I quickly ducked my head and stared at the familiar ground. I ripped a handful of grass from the loose earth. The skin of my hand gained another shade of darkness.

He sighed. A large part of me still wanted to tell him, but I knew he would change subjects. _One... two...thr- _

"You can still help me if you want to. The offer still stands."

I crushed thin, fragile leafs and dropped them heedlessly on the dirt.

"No... I'll watch."

He was frowning now – and I didn't even had to glance up to see it – and rested one hand on the ground to support his body to lean forward, towards me.

"Are you sure? It's very boring to _only _watch."

"You've already said that."

"So, why don't you help me? It's quite fun!" A large smile spread across his face. Normally, when I heard and saw this, I would spring up and hop towards the roaming goats. But now, I slumped even further down. My pants had changed to black, entirely black, now...

That sigh again. I only caught this when he was alone with me, never when someone else was within hearing distance. He shouldn't worry about me so much... he shouldn't spend so much time with me: mum and big brother needed attention too!

"Ariana, please, what's the matter?" Him, almost pleading, and that worrying tone only angered me, now.

"Nothing," I didn't mean for the words to sound a little harder than I intended to.

"You've been sitting here for _hours_ now, staring at the grass–"

"I like grass!" I tore away far too much grass from the earth and almost shoved it in his face.

"See?!"

He gently gripped my nearest wrist and carefully guided it away from him.

"Yes, I see. I didn't mean to say–"

"Then don't say it!" I sprang up and tore my hand away from his hold. I really, _really _liked Ab, but sometimes he just... said the wrong things. Ab wasn't really a talker, he was more a doer: whenever I didn't understand what he meant, or what I must do, he would show it to me. Whenever I felt that tingling sensation swirling and swirling faster until it completely overwhelmed me, I won't hear words, but feel his arms surrounding me, his head resting atop of mine, his breathing tickling my hair.

If I wanted to talk to him – _really _talk to him – it would always end badly.

Helooked down now. "I'm sorry."

Why was he apologizing to _me?! _He shouldn't apologize... not to me...

I hiccuped and closed my eyes, pushing that twinge away, back to where it came from... deep inside of me.

"Hmm? What's that?" His curiosity had returned. I liked this more than what he showed mere moments ago. I snapped my eyes open and glanced down, just in time to see his hand reaching for–

Oh no. It must had fallen down: too big a thing for the small pocket and I didn't want to damage it...

"Don't!" My body dived towards his arm to stop it. I ignored his surprised gasp and carefully plucked the very light weight from the dangerous place. I tried to hide it from him, but he was likely peering over me.

"It's... beautiful."

He ignored my body and I ignored his body almost embracing mine. I stood, careful not to drop it and turned my back towards him.

"What is it?" Ab stood too and these sounds said that he was smoothing his front.

"Secret."

"Is it a present?" He was likely peering over my shoulder again, because his voice came closer and louder.

"Yes... but not for you." I didn't mean to answer so dull.

A pause. "Oh... for who then?" I heard the clear hurt in his voice.

I first wanted to make three of them, but it was so _difficult _to make: I had lost hours! Besides, I had given him a present two days ago... and mum... a week ago?

Slightly turning my head, I saw a smile, but it wasn't a real one: I'd given him so much presents already, he must had grown tired of them...

"_Secret." _

I turned back to glance at it. I still didn't know _when _to give this. I didn't even know whether he would accept it. What if he would think it was rubbish?

I peered closer. It did look... ugly and not neat, unlike his bedroom and everything he touched...

Ab had said it was beautiful. Buthe always says that. Everything I touched or saw would be beautiful to him...

His opinion was very important to me. Yes... but _his _opinion, too.

"Is it really beautiful?"

His answer followed very quickly. "Absolutely."

His head rested on my shoulder. "The person who will receive this will be a very lucky person."

I gazed briefly at him and saw his large smile and that happy twinkle in his eyes. I swallowed, taking that small voice with it to the depth of my body, and smiled. A small smile. The first smile he had seen in this _long _day. The third smile today.

"I hope so."

I gulped loudly and watched the door again. The determination I'd felt had rapidly plummeted down. Ab's words seemed very ridiculous and untrue, now. I touched the hidden pocket and swallowed again.

Maybe I should wait: a closed door meant that someone didn't want to be disturbed, right? Especially not for something as unimportant as a _present_. What if I disturbed him from studying, or a very important sentence he had been writing or reading? What if I chased away an owl? All owls were scared of me... I didn't know why.

I rolled my shoulders and carefully put my fingers in the loose material, feeling how it slightly tickled me. It warmed my fingertips.

The doorknob moved, and the door opened. He almost collided against me.

I yelped in surprise and hastily brought my hand out of the pocket. My eyes watched how his head snapped up and instantly rested on the height of my nose.

A long moment of silence followed, which seemed to stretch endlessly. Only his voice broke it.

"Yes?" A slight tremble in his normally flat voice I heard. Strange...

"Uhm..." I entwined my hands and subtly gaze at my right one, relieved to see that it wasn't coloured. Good, no damage so far!

"I... erm..."

An unhealthy amount of blood flooded my cheeks. I ducked my head to avoid even more embarrassment. This wasn't how I had imagined it to go!

An even longer moment, uninterrupted by sounds, appeared. I tightly closed my eyes. You dummy! Now you could _really_ forget to give your so-called–

"Ariana?" I heard the very soft, almost gentle whisper cutting away my unheard voice.

I stopped fidgeting and stared at his chest. Further than this was impossible. He seemed to accept this.

"Is something wrong?"

I quickly shook my head. His body shifted a bit to the left.

"Then... what is it? Do you need my help?"

I moved my head from left to right again and heared a sigh – a tired sigh – very different from Ab's.

"Then–"

"Can I..." I trailed off when his voice also spoke, but he stopped speaking too.

"Yes?" He prompted me to continue, perhaps a bit too soon.

Well, too late to stop now. Besides, how much worse could this become? He impatiently moved his body again. He was grimacing now...

"May I... uh – I mean, if it's possible – can I... uhm..." I stopped when his body vanished. I quickly glanced at the direction he had disappeared to.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to..." He halted and glanced down for a moment, moving his hips again. "I'll be back in a short moment," He quickly marching away from me.

_Blink. _

What... was I supposed to do now? His words didn't mean that he didn't want me here, but he wasn't welcoming me either.

I turned my body to the opened room and peered inside. It hadn't changed much: books cluttered on normal and somewhat strange spots and beside them, strange objects, borrowed or won. No owl, luckily. I supported my hand on the wall and brought my face further in the room. My feet remained behind the small bobble. Even from this distance, his scent ambushed me. Not perfume, but more like... a mingle of pleasant scents. _Like daddy's._

That feeling crept up again, rattling soundly to be released, but I loudly sniffled and let the air go with trembling difficulty.

No, Father isn't here any more. I chased away his face, that very nice smell.

Soft footsteps approached me, so different from Ab's firm steps... or Father's clicking footsteps.

I could _feel _his piercing stare intensely focused on me, yet I remained where I was, not turning around, not speaking a word.

He stood right behind me. I didn't feel his hands embrace me, nor his chest gently touching my back. I didn't feel his head atop of mine. Instead, I _saw _his back walking away from me.

"Come." Behind the detached word, I heard a small hint of... _concern?_

Slowly, measuring each step so I could quickly leave – if needed – I crossed the very small wall on the ground. I hesitantly glanced at him, but he was already sitting down in the hard chair.

I took four more steps and gazed around the room, one hand gripping the other's wrist. This was far from the first time the soles of my feet had touched this floor, yet I felt as if it was the very first time. If this was Ab's room, I would've strolled towards the bed and let myself fall on the very hard cushion, my laugh mingling with his chuckle. Now, I was only looking for signs that this whole... thing was one big mistake. If it went so bad with Ab, it would only get worse with Albus...much, _much_ worse...

His hand gripped a book... but something was wrong: his eyes seemed not to read the letters, and he was not using his quill.

One minute must had passed. It seemed more like one long hour.

A sigh, then. This one more familiar to me, more like how Ab would sigh. He rested a small piece of parchment between the opened pages and gently closed it. He turned his whole body around to face me. His blue eyes saw mine. I quickly stared at the quill near the closed book.

His body stood and moved towards me: very slowly, but determined to reach his goal...

Oh. He moved past me, but where was he–

His bed creaked.

I slowly pivoted around: a hand patted the space beside it and he showed a small smile.

I sat down, not on that spot, but slightly away it, away from _him_. She reminded herself again that this wasn't Ab.

He seemed to be... thinking. As always. Every word would be flipped six times until hedecided whether to use it. Another difference between them. They could be distant strangers, sometimes...

"How are the goats doing?"

"Hm? Oh! Good, I think," I hadn't expected this question. He had this habit to ask unusual questions, or talk about things I didn't entirely understand.

He nodded and stared at an invisible stain on the wooden floor. I focused on my thighs, and immediately noticed the layers of dire.

Oh, no...

I quickly jumped up and glanced at the vacant spot.

_Oh, no._

I took a step to my right and heard a subtly _creak_. I froze and my face blanched.

No... not again! Stupid_, stupid_ dress.

Forgetting where I was, and _whom _was sitting mere inches away from me, I lifted my foot and crouched down.

No... now it was absolutely worthless!

"Hmm? What's this?"

His head joined mine. Before he could see it properly, I quickly covered it with my hands. Some of it still peered at me and him though. I sometimes wished I had larger hands...

Unlike Ab, he merely straightened his back and watched silently how I carefully brought it away from his view. I turned my body and dared a quick peek through a tiny hole I'd created with my fingers.

The damage was... not so bad. But it couldn't be worn any more: some places were so crushed that the fragile loops and knots weren't holding the next ones properly.

Instantly, tears splashed up and filled my eyes and I could only hear that chiding voice clearly in my head. So absorbed was I, that I didn't notice that he had seen what I'd seen.

"Hmm..." His soft voice was close to my ear. I felt air chafing the hair hiding my cheek.

I closed my eyes and drops of water fell down. I thought I'd felt a gentle tug at one my wrists and a moment later, I heard whispered, unfamiliar, almost chanted words.

I quickly opened my moistened eyes and saw _it, _as if it hadn't been damaged mere seconds ago.

_Magic._

I turned my head towards my shoulder, but he was already gone, sitting on the bed again, judging by the creaking.

"I thought you aren't allowed–"

"Correct."

My legs turned around to stare perplexedly at Albus. He flashed me a quick, rare, but large smile.

"Then why–"

"A little magic will do no harm. _Especially _if the result is much greater than the small price for the small effort,"

It _may _be an easy thing for him to do, but he was _still _not allowed to use magic: since mommy couldn't use magic, he couldn't use that reason to hide behind. So why had he used it, then? Surely not because of... well...

I glanced down and carefully moved the object I was thinking about.

"Thank you," I hadn't thanked him yet, even if this wasn't necessary: even magic couldn't make this more pretty. My eyes focused intensily on the green colour, so I didn't notice him quickly brushing the words away, as if they _were _completely unnecessary to say.

"What is it?" He nodded his head towards the palms of my hands.

"A... bracelet."

I waited for laughter, or disapproved words, but I only heard, "who is it for?"

I stared at his knowing eyes. Of course... Albus had always been very perceptive. Of course he would notice it straight away!

"It's uh... for..."

"Aberforth." No hurt or anger in his voice, and not voiced as a question, as if it was a fact, as if his own emotions or thoughts could not change this.

I quickly shook my head, and frowned a little.

"Mother, then?" He slowly, hesitantly guessed when I did not explain my gesture.

"No..."

I stared at him, unmoved in these blue eyes. He stared back: no twinkle, only a piercing, almost curious gaze.

He widened his eyes and quickly averted his eyes.

"Oh... Ariana..." He whispered softly, and swallowed loudly.

When knowing he would not do or say anything more, I stepped closer, ignoring that irritating voice and absorbed every trace of courage I could find.

I knelt down and carefully extended an arm towards him, but he halted me and pulled me towards him.

He ignored my yelp of surprise.

"Don't _ever _kneel!" His voice coloured with emotions, emotions I rarely heard or saw.

_Rage... _I could clearly hear rage... rage and hurt.

"I'm–"

"Don't!" He almost yelled, his hands almost painfully trapping my shoulders.

There it was again: that tornado trying to rampage freely. But a flood of tears leaking away through my eyes quickly overwhelmed it.

The pressure vanished from my shoulders and Albus gently sat me on the soft cushion. I felt the place beside me dip.

And – I didn't know what had happened, or _why _I'd done this – before I could hear or feel more, I flung forward and bumped against his warm form. I heard no sound of surprise.

Luckily, I didn't feel my eyes stinging, or heard the snotty inhales of air. I didn't even feel the nasty, squeezing monster tearing my chest, or its toxic breath irritating my throat.

But I braced myself, for what I didn't know: maybe him pushing my useless body away, or his sharp voice quietly demanding me to stop...

Of course. Why didn't I wish to see the whole family united again? Almost whispered in her head sarcastically.

All right... maybe I _was _a little too... enthusiastic. But at least he hadn't done anything yet.

_Tick...tack...tick...tack..._

"Ariana, there is no need for you to make this for me. Your, I mean..." He paused. So strange to see him not knowing which words to use. It made her even more guilty than she already felt, and so much more mortified. She shouldn't had come here. She shouldn't had made that _stupid _present for him-

"Thank you." He gently grasped it and rolled it to every angle to observe it.

"May I have the honour?" It took her a moment to realise what he meant, but then she grinned widely – this was a _huge _matter – and gently, carefully clasped the bracelet on his wrist.

They both admired the result.

"Thank you." His shoulder brushed against her, and without any other pause, his arms embraced her. Though a bit awkward, and still so different from Ab's

Though he mostly communicated through words, she felt that he wanted to tell her something with this embrace. She didn't entirely understood it, but it must be something important, so she didn't dare to move, to breath, to say something.

And strange, she didn't want this to end either. She needed to stop the hints of disappointment when he released her and stood.

"Well, then..." He sat down in his hard chair – a very uncomfortable piece of furniture, truly! – and opened his books again.

She remained sitting on the bed. He hadn't told her to move, and she wanted this moment prolonged as long as possible.

She wanted this day to be every day.

Just with Albus. And Ab. And mommy. And father too.


End file.
